corner of my mind

People can take everything away from me But they can never take away your truth But the question is Can you handle mine? They say I'm crazy I really don't care That's my prerogative They say I'm nasty But I don't give a damn Getting boys is how I live Some ask me questions Why am I so real? But they don't understand me I really don't know the deal about my sister Trying hard to make it right Not long ago Before I won this fight Everybody's talking all this stuff about me Why don't they just let me live? I don't need permission Make my own decisions That's my prerogative It's my prerogative It's the way that I wanna live You can't tell me what to do Don't get me wrong I'm really not souped Ego trips is not my thing All these strange relationships really gets me down I see nothing wrong spreadin' myself around Everybody's talking all this stuff about me Why don't they just let m...

as time goes by i learn, you don't have to be nice, you don't have to be fake, you don't have to look cheerful, in order to impress everyone. Your life purpose isn't to please anyone. Feel free to be yourself. Just be the real you. :)

Suatu kali saya tanya orang yang paling dekat dengan saya. Apa yang buat kamu bahagia? Dia jawab : "ngelihat kamu ketawa, sama-sama kamu ada di dekat kamu" Very simple, I though. Ternyata, urusan melihat orang tertawa gak semudah yang saya bayangkan.  Dipikir-pikir, gak setiap saat orang bisa tertawa kan.  Untuk bisa melihat orang tertawa dia harus buat orang itu bahagia dulu. Artinya, buat dia, kebahagiaannya tergantung kebahagiaan saya.  Sounds sweet. Entah benar entah tidak, cuma dia yanng bisa merasakan. Tapi ketika mendengar itu perasaan saya bukan skeptis atau justru mengawang-ngawang. Terus terang saya iri. Iri karena kebahagiaan dia terdengar sederhana. Hanya dengan melihat dan berada di dekat orang yang dia sayangi, dia bisa bahagia. Sementara coba tanya saya. Apa yang buat saya bahagia saat ini? Punya gadget baru? Bisa traveling ke luar negeri?Merawat diri ke dokter muka atau salon favorite? Semua sudah di depan mata. Apa saya bahagia? Jujur gak sepenuhnya iya....

hanging on, don't give up. Not yet.

Hari ini banyak pertanyaan saya untuk Tuhan. Apa benar ilmu yang paling sulit dipelajari adalah 'ikhlas'? Ikhlas, berarti bersih dari rasa iri Ikhlas, berarti bersih dari rasa ingin seperti Ikhlas, berarti tidak memiliki ambisi Ikhlas, berarti apa adanya menerima Ikhlas, berarti membiarkan yang tidak seharusnya terjadi, terjadi Ikhlas, berarti walaupun tahu sesuatu tidak adil, tetap membiarkan Ikhas, berarti mendasarkan segala sesuatu yang terjadi, semua sudah tergaris di satu lintang kekuasaan Ikhlas, banyak sekali artinya Tuhan. Ikhlas, mendasarkan segala sesuatu yang kita terima adalah kehendakMu. Hari ini saya berhadapan lagi dengan pelajaran maha sulit yang sedari dulu, nilai yang saya dapat tidak pernah konstan berada di tinta hitam selalu. Jika Dia bagikan buku lembar penilaian, pastilah merah banyak tertumpu di mata pelajaran tersebut. Ujian mata pelajaran itu, tidak pernah terkategori mudah. Ikhlas, setiap mendengar katanya ingin menghela nafas. Bukan, bukan berd...

It's kinda funny. A person who was once your best friend become an almost total stranger to you. What went wrong?  People move on with their life. is that the thing about life? Like it or not, no matter how much you miss your past, you gotta move forward. 

take a deep breath. inhale-exhale. this is just a little bit hard part in life. Whatever happen in your life right now everyone, remember everything should gonna be okay.... :) 

Pernah gak mempertanyakan diri sendiri?  Kenapa saya begini? kenapa saya begitu? Mungkin jawabannya ada yang sering, kadang-kadang, atau malah gak pernah sama sekali (dengan pikiran "ngapain ribet banget!").  Kalau saya mungkin termasuk yang sering. Punya kebiasaan atau sifat yang kadang membelok dari orang di sekeliling kita kadang membuat kita berpikir apa yang salah atau ada yang salahkah dengan diri kita atau justru orang lain yang sebenarnya salah dan kita yang normal. Very random thoughts. Nah iseng-iseng saya buat list apa saja yang aneh di diri saya.. Sometimes I wonder why : 1. Sangat ceroboh Dikantor, ada satu tempat sampah yang posisinya nyaman banget buat ditabrak. Nah saya udah sekitar 6 kali menabrak tempat sampah itu. Kalau orang yang sama melakukan kesalahan yang sama untuk kedua kalinya dibilang keledai, nah saya apa ya? Sumpah ini konyol abis. Tempat sampah itu seakan udah ditakdirkan untuk selalu ditabrak oleh saya. Badan saya lebam-lebam berwarna-warni,...

Home Another summer day Is come and gone away In Paris and Rome But I wanna go home Maybe surrounded by A million people I Still feel all alone I just wanna go home Oh I miss you, you know And I’ve been keeping all the letters that I wrote to you Each one a line or two “I’m fine baby, how are you?” Well I would send them but I know that it’s just not enough My words were cold and flat And you deserve more than that Another aerorplane Another sunny place I’m lucky I know But I wanna go home Mmmm, I’ve got to go home Let me go home I’m just too far from where you are I wanna come home And I feel just like I’m living someone else’s life It’s like I just stepped outside When everything was going right And I know just why you could not Come along with me But this was not your dream But you always believe in me Another winter day has come And gone away And even Paris and Rome And I wanna go home Let me go home And I’m surrounded by A million people I Still...

-sometimes you're just blind be with wrong person in the wrong time.... -

 He is a wonderful man. And when a man is that special, you know it sooner than you think possible. You recognize it instinctively, and you're certain that no matter what happens, there will never be another one like him. -The Lucky One, Nicholas Sparks- I posting this story not for make sure i'm completly deeply in love with someone, just to see how far i could feel my feeling to someone, and apreciate him honestly.. i never told him i.. kinda afraid of losing him i never told him that he's an eigthy percent different from my prediction for me he's complexity with some kind like sweet favour yang paling pertama gw apresiasi adalah.. kemampuan bertahannya. haha ambiguitas ya dua kalimat diatas..  maksudnya begini, kemampuan bertahan diartikan sebagai kemampuannya bertahan (atau menahankan) diri saat menghadapi gw di saat-saat terburuk gw... dont ask me how bad i am when i get my worst.. too bad.  Sejauh ini dia berhasil. for keep standing...

when you are alone or with someone else It will never change Despite all the chances that I can’t say it to you In my heart I always hope for your…best.  -Jan 4, 2012, when my bestfriend text me early morning after i realize-